


It's About Me

by Emmybazy



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-16
Updated: 2017-10-16
Packaged: 2019-01-18 00:43:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12377457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Emmybazy/pseuds/Emmybazy
Summary: In an alternate universe with three big differences: First, when Jace is young and his father dies, Valentine actually dies. Clary's mother tells her about Shadowhunters when she turns 18 but there is no immediate danger. Second, there are no parabatai and third, everyone is born with a soulmark.Or, Jace and Alec are soulmates. Jace doesn't know. Alec does.





	It's About Me

**Author's Note:**

> Hello- this is another fic I had wanted to post for Jalec Sexy September for the soulmate days but I couldn't get my life in order. This follows the "everyone gets a soul mark but no one shows their soul marks" set up for soulmate AUs. Thanks for reading!

“Why are you losing sight of us? For her?” Alec yells into the night air of the fire escape. 

“Because I think she’s my soulmate,” Jace retorts. He regrets the words as soon as they’re out of his mouth. He sees Alec shrink back, eyes leaving Jace and looking out over the Brooklyn skyline.

“Oh,” Alec coughs, “Why didn’t you say so?”

Jace runs a hand through his hair, “I don’t know. We’ve only known each other a week, that’s too soon to ask. It just-” Jace shrugs, “There was something there when we met.”

“You should ask her,” Alec grimaces, “And then if she’s not your soulmate, we don’t have to keep breaking the rules for her.”

“Hey, no matter what, she’s new to all of this. Someone’s got to look out for her. Who better than us?” Jace bumps Alec’s arm with his fist, “Even if she’s not my soulmate, we have to help her.”

“Yeah, but atleast you’ll stick to protocol if she’s not your soulmate,” Alec shakes his head, “Should have known you’d go off the rails for your soulmate.”

“I know it’s unlikely, but I think it could be true. They say you feel an immediate connection.”

“You felt an immediate connection when she yelled at you outside of a demon club?” 

Jace smirks, “You sound surprised.” Alec laughs, there’s a little less tension in his shoulders. 

“Seriously Jace, just ask her to show you her mark so everything can get back to normal.” Alec starts the walk down the stairs back into the Institute. 

“What, you don’t think there’s even a chance? I’ve got to find love one of these days.”

Alec shakes his head at Jace, barely looking back, “I’m sure you’ll find your soulmate one day Jace, but it sure as hell is not Clary Fray.” 

*****

Jace de-glamors his soul rune that night. As most nephilim do, he keeps his rune hidden from the world. Mundanes hide their marks under bandages and special makeup meant to stay opaque. Soul marks are sacred, not something shared except with the closest family and friends once they bloom. The only person who has ever seen Jace’s soul rune is Alec and that’s because Alec was with him when it appeared. 

His soul mark sits on his hip. The marks manifest during puberty and appear suddenly. Mundanes have little symbols while shadowhunter soul marks are all runes. He traces the arches and lines, wondering if the same image appears somewhere on Clary. He’s not sure if he hopes it’s true or not. 

*****

“Who’s Alec talking to?” Jace whispers to Izzy while they prepare for the next mission. Alec is on his phone in the corner but Jace is pretty sure the entirety of Alec’s contact list is standing in the room with them.

“I bet it’s Magnus Bane,” Izzy grins. 

“What? Magnus Bane? Why him?” 

“He asked me for Alec’s number,” Izzy shrugs. Jace drops his jaw. 

“And you just gave it to him?” Jace questions. 

“Oh please Jace, they were flirting clear as day before the memory demon.”

“Magnus was flirting, Alec was not.”

“Yeah, but it was obvious he liked the attention,” Izzy pulls a few seraph blades and tucks them into her belt, “And good for him, he needs to get out there more. He’ll never find someone who will want to compare runes if he doesn’t put himself out there.”

Jace reclines against a table. She’s not wrong. Jace has known Alec for years and he’s never been much of a dater. There have been a brazen few who have straight up asked Alec to compare runes but Alec has always refused. Jace watches, Alec’s shoulders hunched in as he talks to Magnus Bane of all people. 

“Alec would know already if his soulmate was a warlock. His rune would have to be a different color.” Jace surmises, “He would have told us if his soulmate was a warlock.”

“Or maybe that’s why he’s so secretive about it,” Izzy’s voice is hushed in the crowded room, “Think about it, it would explain why he doesn’t date shadowhunters.”

“Huh,” Jace purses his lips, “Ok. Still think he would have told us something like that.”

“Guess we’ll find out soon,” Izzy hands Jace his blade and walks away from him. 

“Hey,” Clary appears at Jace’s elbow, “you ready?”

“Yeah,” Jace rips his eyes from Alec, “Let’s go.”

*****

“Jace!” Clary catches him as he walks down the corridor. 

“Hey,” Jace steps aside, puts his full attention on her, “What’s up?”

“Nothing,” Clary’s been much more relaxed since she got all of her memory back. Jace can’t imagine not knowing he was a shadowhunter and then having it dropped in his lap on his 18th birthday like Clary’s mother did, “Just wanted to see what you were doing.”

“Nothing I can’t take a break from,” he grins at her. She’s beautiful and a firecracker. They haven’t gotten much time to talk about anything beside shadowhunter rules and the proper way to hold a sword, but it’s been fun. He thinks he could be happy if they were soulmates. 

“Want to come train with me? My right hook is still a little weak,” she tilts her head toward the training room and her ponytail swings. 

She’s different. She’s new. Jace knows his soulmate is a shadowhunter and he hasn’t met a new shadowhunter his age in years. Since the Lightwoods took him in, he hasn’t met a shadowhunter who held his interest but she’s a wealth of new stories and ignorance of a world he can show her. 

“Your right hook is fine,” Jace holds his arm out to gesture her forward, “It’s your left that needs work.”

“You’ll just have to help me then, won’t you?” she says over her shoulder as she struts toward the gym. Jace smiles and falls in line behind her. 

*****

“Jace,” it’s Alec’s voice that interrupts. Jace has punching mitts on as Clary works out her sequence. 

“Give me a minute Alec,” He ducks as Clary kicks over his head. He holds his hand out for her to place a right jab, but Alec is in between them. 

“You missed that meeting with Mom and the Inquisitor,” Alec’s voice is low, accusing.

“What? That’s not until 4,” Jace defends. 

“It’s 4:40,” Alec crosses his arms in front of his chest, brows lowered.

“Shit,” Jace takes heavy breaths now that his workout is paused, “I completely lost track of time. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize to me, apologize to Mom. It’s her you embarrassed,” Alec turns on Clary, “We have trainers who run these gyms for a reason. Use them to practice in the future, not Jace.”

“Lighten up Alec,” Clary quirks a brow at him, “We were having some fun. You should try it some time.”

Alec’s expression darkens further. He turns on his heels out the door. Jace takes the mitts off and throws them in a corner. 

“What’s up with him?” Clary pops her hip with a scowl on his face, “He treats me like a child, like it was my fault that you missed that meeting.”

“Kind of was,” Jace sidles up next to her, almost uncomfortably close since they are both dripping sweat, “you were distracting me from my very important duties.”

Clary snorts, “Sure. But seriously, what’s his deal? Why is he like that?”

“He’s the future head, very responsible,” Jace hands her a bottle of water from a fridge in the corner, “He is fun though. He’s actually the person I have the most fun with.”

“Really? Him? He’s a stick in the mud.”

“No, he’s just been a bit irritable the last few weeks.”

Clary crosses her arms, “That can’t be a coincidence.”

“What do you mean?”

“I came here a few weeks ago,” Clary plops down on the mats and Jace joins her in a stretch, “What does he have against me in particular? It’s not my fault I was raised a mundane.”

“Hey, I’m sure it’s not you,” Jace pats her thigh, keeps his hand there a moment, “you should come out with us later. We’re going back to Pandemonium. Alec’s new friend invited us to the VIP section tonight.”

Clary purses her lips, mulls it over, “As long as he won’t mind me tagging along.”

“Of course not, why would he?”

*****

“Why did you bring her?” Alec mutters in Jace’s ear once they’re passed the front door of Pandemonium. 

“Because she thinks you hate her and if she is my soulmate-”

“She’s not.”

“If, then I want you two to get along,” Jace places a hand along Alec’s shoulder, “You’re the most important person in the world to me Alec, I can’t have you hating my possible soulmate.”

Alec pouts, “She’s not even 21 Jace. What do we do with her in a club?”

“Hey!” Clary swings along Jace’s other side and yells over the music, “come dance with me!”

“I’m right behind you,” Jace smiles at her before turning back to Alec, leaning in to speak right into his ear, “Relax, I’ll take care of her. Go find your friend.” With that, Jace is pressing into the pulse of the club, Clary’s bright hair a beacon to follow. 

They fall into a heated sway, her waist fitting easily between his palms and her smile catching the UV light in the club. He focuses in on the beat and the heat for a long time before his eyes catch Alec from across the room. His hips still. 

“What’s wrong?” Clary shouts into his ear. 

“Nothing,” Jace pulls his eyes away from Alec sitting close against Magnus. Magnus’s finger swirls a lock of Alec’s hair while Alec leans into him.

*****

Jace rests his head against the counter. Someone sets something next to his face and he forces his eyes open. 

“You’re welcome,” Alec says, setting a plate down next to the coffee. 

“You’re the best,” Jace sighs, taking a sip of the coffee. He’s not hungover as much as exhausted. 

“Where’d you go last night?” Alec pries, sitting down next to Jace with his own plate. 

“Nowhere really, just walked around the city and talked,” Jace admits. There had also been a few foolhardy kisses on street corners, but that’s between him and Clary. 

“Just talked?” Alec prods again, not looking at Jace.

“We didn’t sleep together if that’s what you’re asking,” Jace presses his palms into his eyes to wipe the sleep away, “if she is my soulmate, I want to do it right.” Alec doesn’t respond to that other than taking another bite of his toast so Jace decides it’s his turn to prod, “What about you, what time did you get in?”

“Around two.”

Jace smirks and turns his full body towards Alec, “Two huh? Go back to Magnus’s first?”

Alec furrows his brow at him, “What are you talking about?”

“You know, you and Magnus. That’s happening, isn’t it?”

“He’s my friend Jace, that’s it.”

“Friends don't get a seat practically on Magnus’s lap on a Saturday night at Pandemonium.”

Alec scowls, “He felt bad for me because my sister immediately ditched me for fae and my best friend was more interested in a girl than hanging out with me. He kept me company instead.”

“Sure, that’s exactly what it looked like,” Jace takes another sip of his coffee. 

“You were watching us?”

“Not really, but it’s hard to miss Magnus Bane in freaking Magnus Bane’s club. Pretty sure everyone got an eyeful.”

Alec deflates, stirs a spoon in his coffee, “Are you going to ask Clary to compare runes soon?”

“Nah,” Jace yawns, “It’s still new. They recommend, what, 5 or 6 weeks of dating before you compare?”

“That’s for when you’re still young,” Alec grumbles, “When you’re as old as you are, it’s perfectly acceptable to ask earlier on so that both parties don’t waste each other’s time.”

“Why are you pushing so hard for me to ask her to compare? I thought you didn’t like her. Shouldn’t you be telling me not to ask her?” Jace stands to put his dishes in the dishwasher. Alec leans back in his chair, arms crossed. 

“Because I know she’s not your soulmate,” Alec explains, “the sooner you get it over with, the sooner you can let go of it and get back to normal.”

“How do you know she’s not my soulmate?”

“Because.”

“Because?” Jace turns, eyes wide at Alec, “Wow Alec, great answer. You’re totally right. I will get right on it just because.”

Alec leans forward over the counter, his face as close to Jace’s as he could be given the marble between them, “Because I know you. Because I don’t like her and I know your soulmate is not someone like her. The longer you spend on this girl, the more pissed you will be when you figure out she is not your soulmate.” Alec stands, pushes off from the counter, “ask her Jace, pull the trigger and ask her if you think you’re right but you won’t be.”

Alec puts his dishes in the sink, moving around Jace, before he heads toward his office. Jace taps his fist twice on the counter before he turns toward Clary’s room. 

*****

Jace knocks on Clary’s door, “Come in.”

“Hey,” Jace steps inside. She’s cross-legged on her bed, drawing on a notepad. 

“Hey, what’s up?” she leans forward and puts the sketch pad on the bed.

“Nothing much, wanted to talk to you. How are you feeling?”

“Exhausted from staying up so late but I’m sure I’ll get used to it,” Clary grins, “Sure you wanted to talk?”

Jace shakes his head, “Get your mind out of the gutter Fray,” Jace glances at the drawings and pulls it closer to him. It’s the same basic ruin drawn over and over with minor differences in each, “What are all these?”

Clary glances at it before springing to action, “Shit,” she pulls the sketch pad close to her chest. She bites her lip, “you don’t recognize it?”

Jace shakes his head, “No, never seen it before.”

Clary bows her head and drops her gaze to the runes now hidden from Jace’s sight, “when I’m bored, I draw my soul mark.”

Jace eyes widen, “Oh. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean-”

Clary shakes her head, “No, it’s fine. The way we’d been going, I would have asked to see yours eventually. Probably for the best we know now.”

“Yeah, for the best,” Jace pats Clary’s knee, “So you know, you’re the first person I ever thought about asking.”

Clary smiles, “Same.” She grips his hand until he pulls away, “Bye Jace.”

“See you later Clary.” He leaves her room as quickly as he came. His head feels clearer than it has in the weeks since he met Clary. He heads straight for Alec.

*****

Alec’s training, “Wanna spar?”

Alec turns at Jace’s voice, “Sure.”

“Great,” Jace immediately strips off his jacket and starts to wrap his hands, “Hope you’re in the mood to get a few bruises.” Alec quirks an eyebrow inviting an explanation, “I saw her rune.” 

Clarity hits Alec’s face, “Sorry Jace.”

“Don’t be, you were right,” Jace shakes his head, “I’m not even disappointed. But I feel dumb I even thought it could be her.” He strikes out with his right hand and Alec easily deflects. 

“Hey, don’t beat yourself up,” Alec blocks Jace’s fist and tries for a few jabs of his own, “Let me do it.”

Jace laughs out loud, “In your dreams brother.” Alec hesitates a moment and Jace is able to knock his feet out from under him, tackling him into the ground. He gets on top of him but Alec rolls them over, bracing Jace against the mat. 

“You need to talk about it?” Alec huffs as he presses Jace down. Jace uses Alec’s leverage against him and pushes him over again. 

“No. You want to talk about how your soulmate is a warlock?”

“What?” Alec releases the tension for a moment and Jace is able to get Alec into a headlock. 

“Tap out,” Jace murmurs into Alec’s ear as Alec struggles against him. Alec bumps his fist once against the mat and immediately turns to look at Jace once he is free. 

“That doesn’t count,”  Alec rubs his neck slowly and squawks, “Why do you think my soulmate is a warlock?”

“Really?” Jace bounces his eyebrows, “Why else would you be spending this much time with Magnus Bane?”

“Magnus isn’t my soulmate.” Alec stands, turns his back to Jace and grabs a towel. 

“How do you know?” Jace stays on the ground, leans back on his hands.

“One, my soul mark is black.” Alec holds his hands out and Jace tries not to feel reprimanded, “And Magnus already met his soulmate. He died years ago.”

“Oh,” Jace mutters, “Shit. That’s awful.”

“Yeah it is,” Alec offer a hand to Jace, “It’s very rare for warlocks to be soulmates with other warlocks and immortals. They either wait centuries for their soulmates or live centuries without them.”

“So, he’s passing the time with you?” Jace asks. 

Alec scowls, “Seriously Jace? So what if he wants to date people after being without his soulmate for hundreds of years? Can you imagine being without your soulmate? Having them for years and then losing them? What would you do?”

Jace walks away, “I don’t know. Can’t imagine losing a soulmate if you haven’t met them yet.”

Alec pouts, “yeah, guess you’re right.” Alec turns, heads to the wall where his shirt hangs and tugs it on. Jace still pushes. 

“So Magnus isn’t your soulmate,” Alec doesn’t react, doesn’t flinch. Jace gets in his space, “How come you never talk about it Alec? Most shadowhunters with black ruins are married by your age.”

“I’m just-” Alec stumbles over his words, shrugs his shoulders, “I’m waiting”

Jace pauses, watches the indifference settle along Alec’s jaw. Jace takes a quick breath, lets it out, “You don’t feel that longing?”

“What?” Alec glances up, lips pursed and his eyes shadowed by his lashes.

“I wake up every day,” Jace picks his words carefully, “reaching for someone who isn’t there. Don’t you feel that too?”

Alec’s jaw is loose, breath settling on Jace’s skin they're so close, “Yes.”

“Then why-” Jace shakes his head and pushes a hand through his hair, “I’m sorry, you can date whoever you want. God knows I’m no cleanslate for my soulmate. Sorry for going off like that, dealing with shit.” Jace claps a hand on Alec’s shoulder.

Alec nods, “Yeah,” Alec coughs, “I’m not going to date him.”

“Why not? Nothing wrong with keeping someone company until you meet your soulmate.”

Alec crosses his arms over his chest, “Because I don’t mind waiting for them.”

“But how will you know if it’s them if you don’t even try?”

“I’m not worried about that,” Alec grins, “you want to keep sparring?”

“No, think I’m done for the day. I’m going to shower and take a nap. I’ll catch you later.”

“Yeah,” Alec watches Jace leave, “See you later.”

*****

It eats at Jace. Alec is the person he knows most in the world yet this facet of Alec has never made sense. He stretches awake and traces the rune on his hip, wondering where Alec’s is.  

“Izzy,” Jace asks over breakfast, “Does it bother you Alec hasn’t shown either of us his soul mark?”

“I’d be offended if he’d shown you and not me,” Izzy smirks and keeps stirring sugar into her coffee, “But no, you know him. He’s private.”

“Yeah, with everyone else. Not us. He’s seen my mark.”

Izzy furrows her brows, “Why haven’t you shown me?”

“He told me not to,” Jace takes a sip of his own coffee, “He was there when it appeared.”

Izzy’s lips purse deeper, “He was there when your soulmark bloomed?”

“Yeah, he saw it bloom and taught me how to conceal it immediately. And then he went into one of those bull shit rules speeches about how it’s sacred and no one should see it, and that he shouldn’t have even been there.”

“Jace,” Izzy cocks her head at him over the counter, “I’ve never heard of anyone’s mark blooming with someone else in the room.”

“What?”

“Mine came in at night,” Izzy counts of on her fingers, “Alec’s when he was training alone. Literally everyone I know was alone. They even teach you when you’re a kid in school not to be scared when you feel the pain because you will be alone when it appears.”

Jace runs his fingers through his scruff on his neck, “But Alec was there. He saw it before I even did. And there was no pain, it just appeared.”

Izzy shakes her head, “That’s not normal Jace.”

“Even more stuff Valentine hid from me growing up I guess,” Jace picks up his dishes and heads toward the dishwasher. 

“You should probably ask someone about that,” Izzy watches as he walks away. He can feel her eyes on his back. 

*****

“Izzy told me something funny earlier,” Jace reclines on the couch in Alec’s office. Alec is typing at his desk and doesn’t look up, “She told me that they teach you guys in school that you’ll be alone when your soul mark blooms.”

The corner of Alec’s mouth twists up, “You compare soul marks with one girl and now you can’t stop talking about marks. Need me to recommend some good romances Jace?”

Jace tosses a rubber band ball in the air and catches it, “Seriously Alec, is that true?”

Alec looks up for a moment, then turns back to his work, “Sure, they teach us that.”

“But you were with me when my soul mark appeared.”

Jace watches the bob of Alec’s adam’s apple as he swallows, “I was.”

Jace lets that hang in the room before attacking from a different angle, “How come you’ve never shown me your soul mark?”

“I haven’t shown anyone.”

“But I’m your best friend. And you’ve seen mine,” Jace thrown the ball. Catches it, “Best friends usually show each other their soul marks.”

“Seriously, why are you so fixated on this Jace?” Alec stammers, “you’ve never cared before. Do you want to talk about Clary?”

“No, this isn’t about her, this is about us. I don’t understand why you don’t trust me.”

“Of course I trust you, it’s not that Jace,” Alec stands force full, “I’ve got to go. I have a meeting I need to be in.” Alec grabs a stack of papers, nearly drops them, before shoving toward the door. He pauses, hand on the doorknob, looks over his shoulder, “I trust you Jace, I do, I just can’t show you.”

With that, Alec is gone. Jace pauses, squeezes the ball hard in his hand. 

*****

Jace busies himself for an hour but then can’t wait any longer to confront Alec. He strides through the Institute, looking for Alec around each corner. He eventually finds him as he had the day before, body tense and laying into a punching bag. Sweat drips down his back and Jace knows he’s been here awhile. 

“Alec,” Jace feels the tug. It’s always been there, floating between them, but now he has a name for it. He grasps at straws, his life realigning around him. 

Alec runs a hand over his face, sends a closed off smile Jace’s way, “Hey.”

“Show me your soul mark,” Jace follows his instincts, pulled closer to Alec’s side. 

“Jace, come on-” Alec starts and stops when Jace removes his own shirt. 

“Alec,” Jace runs the tip of his stele along his side and his mark appears, “show me your mark.”

Alec’s eyes widen. Jace watches, listens to Alec’s heartbeat and the heavy breath that sighs out of Alec. The tension still in Alec’s shoulders proves to Jace the sigh is not of relief, but panic. 

“Hey,” Jace drags Alec in with arms around his waist, Alec stumbling into his embrace, “Why are you freaking out?”

Alec wraps his arms around Jace’s shoulders, “Are you mad?”

“No, of course not,” his cheek rests against Alec’s neck, “I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me, but I could never be mad at you.”

Alec’s fingers thread into Jace’s hair, “I’m sorry.”

Jace shocks back, “Why are you sorry?”

Alec keeps his gaze down, “I know I’m not who you wanted.”

Jace’s stomach drops out, “Wait, what? How could you say that?”

Alec’s lips pout out, “You always said her. And you asked Clary. You wanted it to be someone like her.”

Jace kisses him, right then, Alec’s bottom lip still forming the final syllable of a lie he must have told himself time and time again. Alec doesn’t react, lets Jace press kisses along his jaw as he talks, “Don’t think that,” Alec’s heartbeats faster, “Of course it’s you,” Jace’s hands grip tighter, “you’re already everything.”

At that, Alec falls into Jace and follows Jace’s lead. 

*****

“Come on,” Jace’s finger itch to reach out, “show me.”

“Ok,” Alec reaches for his stele. They’d come back to Alec’s room for some privacy and now Jace wants to see his rune on Alec. 

“Where is it?” Jace scooches into Alec’s space on the bed. 

“Same spot as yours,” Alec runs the stele over his side and the rune appears. 

Jace touches. He traces a finger along the lines, same way he’s done on himself many times over the years. 

“I freaked out when your rune bloomed,” Alec’s voice is low, “I didn’t immediately recognize it, was more concerned with the fact it happened while I was there. Then I realized it was my match.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Jace murmurs, his thumb now working his way down the curves of the rune, pressing into Alec’s skin. 

“I didn’t know how to say it,” Alec brings a hand up to settle on Jace’s neck, “You were still new here and needed a friend more than a soulmate. And then it had been so long, and you had never shown any interest in men in general, let alone me. I assumed something was wrong or it was a platonic bond.”

“Still could’ve told me,” Jace kisses the inside of Alec’s wrist. 

“This isn't weird for you?” Alec asks, “Yesterday you called me your brother.” 

“No,” Jace admits, “I don’t know why but- it makes so much sense.” Jace holds one of Alec’s hands between his own, keeping it close, “Who else could it have been? You’ve been mine for so long already.” Alec looks away. He’s still, almost uncomfortable. Jace watches him, eyes flicking from his face to the mark. Jace presses Alec’s hand to his lips once more and Alec’s tense body shivers, “Alec, what’s wrong?”

“You don’t-” Alec’s voice is low, timid, “You don’t feel forced right? You don’t have to do this just because our marks match.”

Jace rests his chin on his hands clasped around Alec’s, “What do I need to do for you to believe I’m happy?”

Alec looks up at him, “You don’t have to do anything.”

“You trust me,” Jace lays one hand on Alec’s soul mark, “Trust me about this.”

“Ok,” Alec stares at Jace’s hand, petting and rubbing his soul mark.

*****

Alec is out of Jace’s reach for days. Jace enters a room right as Alec leaves, sits to eat while Alec rushes to throw his dishes in the dishwasher. Jace feels a part of him empty with both his soulmate and best friend avoiding him. 

He crashes onto Izzy’s bed, “Do you think he doesn’t want me?”

“No,” Izzy turns the page on the book she’s reading, her attempt at staying out of the drama with Jace and Alec. 

“He didn’t tell me. That’s the only explanation, he never wanted me to find out because he doesn't want me.”

“That’s why he’s spends every free moment he has with you since he was 16. He doesn’t want you.”

“As a soulmate,” Jace says, “He doesn’t want me as a soulmate, only a friend.”

Izzy rolls her eyes and does a put upon sigh, “You’re both so frustrating. He was in here less than an hour ago whining about the same thing.”

“What does he have to whine about? I’m not the one avoiding him,” Jace pushes onto his elbows. 

“Can’t you talk to him? I really don’t want to get into the middle of this,” Izzy keeps reading. 

“Fine, I’ll go find him and make him talk to me,” Jace rolls off the bed, “If he comes in here trying to hide, keep him here and text me.”

“I’ll put him in a headlock,” She smirks up at him as he leaves her room. 

First he hits Alec’s office and is lucky. He strides in and Alec’s reaction is visceral. 

“Hey-” Alec stumbles up and out of his chair, “I was about to-”

“It can wait,” Jack leans back against the door, arms crossed on his chest, “for your soulmate.”

Alec’s struck dumb next to his desk, clasps his hands and keeps his eyes on the ground, “What’s up?”

“Alec, what is going on? Why have you been avoiding me?”

“I haven’t been avoiding you-”

“Could you hold the soul sword and say that?” Jace kids, trying to mask his hurt feelings. Alec fidgets under his gaze, “God, Alec, tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong,” Alec runs a hand through his hair.

“Something must be if you can’t look at me-”

“Nothing’s wrong Jace,” Alec pushes forward, “You- I never thought it would go like that. At the very least you were supposed to be mad at me for lying but you- you accepted it. You understood. And you kissed me, just like that, like it was nothing,” Alec’s hands speed up with his train of thought, “Like it didn’t matter who I was, just that I was your soulmate and I’m so-” Alec’s body deflates, his arm falling to his sides. He shakes his head, “nothing’s wrong, but I can’t get out of my head about this.”

“Ok,” Jace pushes off the door, “come to me next time, alright? Rely on me. Whether I’m your best friend or your soulmate, that’s my job.” Alec sits back at his desk, rests his face in his hands. Jace steps up behind him puts his palm on the nape of Alec’s neck. Alec pushes a breath out.

“Jace-”

“Alec, I love you,” Jace’s thumb slides over the short hairs at Alec’s hairline, “You helped me think of the Institute as home when I didn’t have one. You showed me kindness and compassion when no one else knew what to say. Of course it mattered it was you. You were, are, and always will be the person who matters most to me in the world. The marks prove that, they don't change how I feel.”

Alec shifts back, scrutinizing Jace. Jace hops onto the desk right next to Alec’s arms. He’s laid bare, given all he’s got, but he will keep fighting for this as long as he needs to.

“You never would have kissed me without the marks, or touched me,” Alec grimaces.

“Why would I ever have risked our friendship for physical intimacy?” Jace shrugs his shoulders, “You saw my rune, you didn’t say we matched, you weren't my soulmate. Why would I try for something physical with you when I couldn’t keep you that way?”

Alec steeples his fingers in front of him, chewing on his bottom lip. Jace watches, eyes drawn to the hint of teeth pulling at Alec’s lip. He’s not lying, he’d never let himself think of Alec this way before, and now Alec is all he sees. 

“Come out with me,” Jace bumps Alec’s arm with his, “One date.”

“Why are you pushing so hard?” Alec falls back in his chair, eyes hard, “You were on Clary Fray not a week ago and now you’re pushing me-”

“We’re soulmates Alec,” Jace’s grip tightens on the desk, “I’m not the one pushing, you are. You’re pushing me away when we are literally destined to spend the rest of our lives with each other.” Jace slides off Alec’s deck, “Look, I’m going to get dinner tonight, somewhere. I’ll wait for you until seven. I want you to come with me.” Jace walks toward the door, hand on the doorknob, “and if you don’t come tonight, that doesn’t mean I’m giving up.”

Jace struts into the hallway. As soon as the door is shut behind him, he sighs. He lightly punches the wall, trying to push some of his frustration out of his body.

*****

Jace sits right near the door to the Institute. He’s got high hopes so he tried to look nice. He’d nearly laughed in the mirror when he realized he was styling his hair for Alec of all people. Alec, who has helped him wash blood and grime out of his wounds. 

“Looking good,” Jace turns and it’s Clary, smirking.

“Thanks, I tried,” he makes it a joke but she knows it’s not.

“Oh Jace,” she pats his shoulder, “It will all work out.”

“I know,” Jace tips his head back against the wall and closes his eyes, “We’re soulmates, it has to work out. But I’d rather work it out now than later.”

“You miss him?”

Jace pouts, “Yeah, I really do.”

“Have fun on your date,” Clary mumbles. He hears her heels click away. 

“Fine, I’ll wait here like an idiot by myself,” he mutters under his breath. 

“Being by yourself isn’t what makes you an idiot,” It’s Alec. Jace startles, nearly tipping out of his chair before standing straight. Alec grins at him and Jace’s nerves settle for the first time in too long. 

“Hey, you came,” Jace over does it, his voice cracking. 

“You said you weren’t going to give up,” Alec shifts, his hands in his back pocket, “I was afraid of what that would look like.”

Jace snorts a laugh, “Ready to go?” He holds up his arm, offering it to Alec. 

Alec hesitates. For a moment, Jace thinks he’s going to turn and run, but then a miracle happens. The widest, shyest smile Jace has ever seen takes over Alec’s face. Alec steps up and wraps his hand around Jace’s bicep, “Yeah, let’s go.”

Jace catches his breath and leads the way. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it! If you leave a kudos/comment/bookmark, thank you very much!
> 
> tumblr: emmybazy.tumblr.com


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